Another Random Smattering

Another random dump of thoughts, because why not.

If alien life existed, and they were an intelligent race, and they had been in contact with humans, don’t you think they’d have contacted someone more intelligent than the people leading our government, at this point?

The Inverse Absurdity Theorem: As music becomes more and more serious it becomes more absurd. Likewise, the more the musicians embrace this absurdity, the better the music is.

Lysol and Purell and all the other companies that have obsessed over cleanliness, must be just head over heels with the COVID business. That’s not to say they’re wrong to be happy about it, but some have taken advantage more than others.

Information inundation is becoming a problem, as predicted quite well in [insert 80s futurist book here]. I mean, we’re hit with so much information per day at this point that it’s becoming an issue, and we’re disregarding everything that’s not immediately pressing. That last bit may be a good thing, I’m not sure.

Why are cigarette lighters still producing orange flames? Can’t I have a Bic Green at this point? I mean, I don’t even smoke cigarettes anymore, but I’ll smoke some trees (hey, it’s legal here, I’m an adult, yada yada).

Why hasn’t Trent Reznor’s voice really changed in 20-30 years? Maybe it’s computers, maybe it’s Maybelline.

Why haven’t we come up with a better meat grading system? Can’t we be honest that some cuts and batches of meat are just pure shit and we’re kidding ourselves? I want to see some C-grade meat in the market. Makes me feel better about grade-A.

This is turning into a series of musings, like Peggy Hill wrote on King of the Hill. I both heartily welcome and recoil at the comparison. I’d rather be Hank, honestly.

You may laugh, but Hank Hill is one hell of a role model. He pays his bills, he loves his family, he pays attention to his son and adjusts his parenting over time, he takes care of his house, he takes care of his friends and keeps good company at that…and he loves his job! Not to mention, he’s the most honest and forthright person on TV. What more could you ask for, really?

Plus, he’s pretty goddamn progressive for living in Texas. Is Austin, TX weird enough to move to, yet?

I noticed, in New York, there’s like 2,000+ apartments that are within my price range in Manhattan alone. I’d love to move there, if it weren’t for the fact that in a disaster, you’re statistically fucked.

Eh, I’ve given up my guidelines on swearing on the blog, for the children. Oh well. Fuck it. It’s a cold world out there, motherfuckers, get used to it.

For acting incredibly tough with that can-do attitude, Detroit really can’t do shit when it comes to attracting jobs or talent to the city. Yeah, there’s the people that live here, and yeah, they’re talented, but you know “Detroit Vs. Everybody” means something to people, right?

It means people are less inclined to work with you, because they perceive you as threatening. I don’t give a flying fuck how tough you are, if you can’t make money or product, GTFO. And you can’t make either when you’re acting like everyone is your enemy, dear.

It just kills me that Detroit acts like it can exist in isolation. “Detroit vs. Everybody” my ass. More like “Detroit vs. Itself”.

That said, Danny Brown was on that “Detroit Vs. Everybody” song and his shit is gold. Danny Brown is good.

Man I got down a rabbit hole with that Detroit shit. But it’s real though! People act like you can just be a dickhead in Detroit with zero consequence and fuck anyone who looks at you funny, but that’s not how shit works in literally any other city on the planet of Earth.

Be nice sometime. Give people the benefit of the doubt, Detroiters. It’ll probably be alright and if it isn’t, then you hit ‘em.

Well this has gone on long enough. Check the next post for something more sane and organized and put-together.